Gratitude for lessons learned and "old" telephone poles!
 I am just coming off one of the worst weeks of my life... with a re-flair of an illness (I thought was kicked), some professional set-backs, a few financial challenges ... and then our 17 year old son hits a telephone pole and nothing else seemed relevant ...  Then just as suddenly...everything was relevant and in crisis mode... He is a good kid, a new driver, coming back after taking his girlfriend home, it was a late Saturday afternoon (after his varsity baseball game), he was tired and closed his eyes for a second... His last thought before hitting the pole was "Dad is going to kill me"  The worst feeling in the world is driving to the scene of an accident involving your child, the 5 miles seem like hundreds... and then you see the flashing lights and loose all rational control until you hold your "safe" child in your arms . My husband and I were second guessing every decision, questioning our judgment, his abilities. He is fine... not a scratch on him, the car and the pole (thankfully it was old and broke in half) however are both totaled. The real kicker was that my "fibro-fog" lead me to forget some critical things (insurance stuff) prior to the accident that made the situation much more complicated & potentially financially devastating. After hours of hysterical crying... I mustered up enough braincells to correct the situation. My trust in myself was gone, I was physically, emotionally & spiritually bankrupt. Forgetting the one thing that really matters; we still had both of our sons (above). And today I get this e-mail ... ******************************* ELIMINATING THINGS ABOUT MYSELF AND MY LIFE THAT I HAVE DETERMINED ARE UNACCEPTABLE I am now receptive to the idea that . . . God's inner vision of me can be the outer vision I create for myself. | |
There is nothing you need to do to make yourself more acceptable to God. You don't have to work harder, nor do you need to change the kind of work that you do. You don't have to give more money to more charitable organizations. The reality is, God doesn't want you to give anyone anything if you only do it to impress God! God does not love you or find you acceptable because of anything that you do. God loves you and accepts you because you are a part of God. You can now give up any neurotic beliefs and activities associated with perfection. That's right! You can stop trying to be perfect! You can stop trying to do everything perfectly. You can save the time, energy and money you are spending trying to make the world or other people perfect. You can stop trying to figure out how to make yourself greater, grander, more acceptable to God today because you consider yourself to be damaged by the mistakes you made yesterday. Nothing you can do will make you look better, sound better, smell better or in any way be better, more acceptable than the person God made you to be. God has an inner vision. God is looking at you from the inside out. When you are accepting of yourself as a divine creation of God, undeniably connected to God, filled with the love of God, you become acceptable to yourself. That is really all that God is concerned with. Until today, you may have believed that there was something you needed to do to make yourself more acceptable to God. Just for today, examine and explore the aspects of yourself you believe are unacceptable. Identify the behaviors and actions you are engaged in and make a list of those things you choose to eliminate. Just remember that God is happy when you are happy. So do it for yourself. Today I am devoted to eliminating those things about myself and my life that I have determined are unacceptable!" From Until Today! by Iyanla Vanzant http://ow.ly/4Y6VN My lessons learned:
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Fibromyalgia Awareness Day: Pain Does Not Reduce Potential (Guest)
National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day: May 12th
Potential - Noun: Latent qualities or abilities that may be developed and lead to future success or usefulness.
When I think of my desire to get well, the idea of being “cured” has never been my emphasis. Would it be amazing if one day we are all completely free of fibromyalgia? Absolutely! But in my quest to live better, I have never focused on a cure as my destination. Instead of focusing on a cure – something I cannot control, I have tried to focus on my potential for living better in each moment – something I can control, and on building momentum during the good moments and minimizing the bad. It is a formula that often works, and continues to encourage me to keep trying, even if it means I sometimes fail and fibromyalgia wins.In our frustration with the many debilitating symptoms and lifestyle disruptions of FM, we often look for (and hope for) the quick fix. Who can blame us? But if there is one thing I can share today to encourage and inspire those of you trying to make sense of the misery of FM, it is this – focus on the things you can control, and let go of your attachment to the things you cannot. Be realistic. Understand that you can live better and that you do have a measurable amount of control over your symptoms.
Small changes can really add up to decreased symptoms and a better quality of life.
By being present and focusing on the variables you can control, you are doing the very best for yourself. Minimizing stress, eliminating sugar and gluten, exercising, etc. will not cure you of FM, but they will help reduce your symptoms and increase your quality of life. It is just a fact. A life with chronic illness is still a life full of potential and possibility, but we have a part to play to reach that potential.Frida turned her pain into her passion.
The great Mexican artist and revolutionary Frida Khalo lived her life of chronic illness with passion and vigor – painting many masterpieces along the way. I am no Frida, but I certainly have a lot to live passionately for. Fibromyalgia or not, my life has purpose and I intend to continue focusing on the possibilities rather than the pain. And I know I am not alone. There are many of you who feel the same, so for you, this is just a gentle reminder of your potential.
And for those of you who need a little more encouragement I offer this:
Start small. Change happens slowly. This is an uphill battle we are all facing, but each baby-step takes us closer to where it is we want to be – as long as we have a realistic view of our destination. The path is bumpy, and dusty, and there are many obstacles – and even some booby traps – but with dedication and determination, it is passable.
Celebrate and build on the little victories. Again, this means you must have realistic expectations. Maybe you start walking 5-10 minutes a day. And 4 out of 7 days you do so relatively pain free. Yes! Definitely worthy of a celebration. Sometimes you will not see the results of your efforts immediately, but just know that your efforts are having an effect, and that change is happening. This is why it is so important to stay encouraged, because our bodies give us many reasons to be discouraged. Chose to focus on the potential, not the pain.
Understand that even with improvement, the bad days will still come. This does not mean that all of the good work you have been doing is lost. It does not mean that you should be discouraged and give up. It is simply a fact of a life with chronic illness – one of the facts we cannot change, so slow down, accept the setback, and prepare yourself to move forward again once you are able. Fibromyalgia is not a static condition. It changes and fluctuates constantly. Know that no matter how bad you are feeling in any particular moment, there are better moments ahead. Pain of today does not reduce your potential for tomorrow.
Pain Does Not Reduce Potential
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