Gratitude for lessons learned and "old" telephone poles!

I am just coming off one of the worst weeks of my life... with a re-flair of an illness (I thought was kicked), some professional set-backs, a few financial challenges ... and then our 17 year old son hits a telephone pole and nothing else seemed relevant ...  Then just as suddenly...everything was relevant and in crisis mode... He is a good kid, a new driver, coming back after taking his girlfriend home, it was a late Saturday afternoon (after his varsity baseball game), he was tired and closed his eyes for a second... His last thought before hitting the pole was "Dad is going to kill me"  The worst feeling in the world is driving to the scene of an accident involving your child, the 5 miles seem like hundreds... and then you see the flashing lights and loose all rational control  until you hold your "safe" child in your arms .  My husband and I were second guessing every decision, questioning our judgment, his abilities.  He is fine... not a scratch on him, the car and the pole (thankfully it was old and broke in half) however are both totaled.  The real kicker was that my "fibro-fog" lead me to forget some critical things (insurance stuff) prior to the accident that made the situation much more complicated & potentially financially devastating.  After hours of hysterical crying... I mustered up enough braincells to correct the situation. My trust in myself was gone, I was physically, emotionally & spiritually bankrupt.   Forgetting the one thing that really matters; we still had both of our sons (above). And today I get this e-mail ...    *******************************  ELIMINATING THINGS ABOUT MYSELF AND MY LIFE THAT I HAVE DETERMINED ARE UNACCEPTABLE       I am now receptive to the idea that .  .  . God's inner vision of me can be the outer vision I create for myself.

There is nothing you need to do to make yourself more acceptable to God.  You don't have to work harder, nor do you need to change the kind of work that you do.  You don't have to give more money to more charitable organizations.  The reality is, God doesn't want you to give anyone anything if you only do it to impress God!  God does not love you or find you acceptable because of anything that you do.  God loves you and accepts you because you are a part of God. You can now give up any neurotic beliefs and activities associated with perfection.  That's right!  You can stop trying to be perfect!  You can stop trying to do everything perfectly.  You can save the time, energy and money you are spending trying to make the world or other people perfect.  You can stop trying to figure out how to make yourself greater, grander, more acceptable to God today because you consider yourself to be damaged by the mistakes you made yesterday.  Nothing you can do will make you look better, sound better, smell better or in any way be better, more acceptable than the person God made you to be. God has an inner vision.  God is looking at you from the inside out.  When you are accepting of yourself as a divine creation of God, undeniably connected to God, filled with the love of God, you become acceptable to yourself.  That is really all that God is concerned with. Until today, you may have believed that there was something you needed to do to make yourself more acceptable to God.  Just for today, examine and explore the aspects of yourself you believe are unacceptable.  Identify the behaviors and actions you are engaged in and make a list of those things you choose to eliminate.  Just remember that God is happy when you are happy.  So do it for yourself. Today I am devoted to eliminating those things about myself and my life that I have determined are unacceptable!"      From Until Today!    by Iyanla Vanzant http://ow.ly/4Y6VN My lessons learned: be grateful first and last as parents you can do your best; stuff still happens be gentle with yourself share your limitations, ask for help God knows what he is doing ...  we are truly blessed

From Haiti to hospital beds... to perspective...

I was thinking that it was a rough week for ME... returning to work and the daily routine after a long vacation. I was even feeling a bit sorry for myself; my fibromyalgia was particularly bad, acting up due to my changes in diet, routine and sleeping schedule.

While in a particular self-focused moment; crying and venting with my hubby... about how unfair life is and how it sucks! His response was a calm "it could be much worse..." yeah his way of trying to make me feel better. lol ... Got to love that man!!!

Well... as the week progressed...

Haiti was hit by a devastating earthquake; I learned that old friends of ours were there on a missionary visit... their family didn't know if they were dead or alive...

my brother in-law was rushed to the hospital .. he almost died.

I was driving home and had to swerve to avoid a very serious collision ... if one element was different (if I didn't see the car in the road in-time, if the guy behind me didn't stop and swerve also, if there had been anyone coming in the other direction..etc.)

So yeah... my life could be worse... I am surrounded by a warm loving family, I have the best friends anyone could ask for ... my fibro is manageable most days, with healthy lifestyle choices... I am blessed.

(BTW: My friends are home safe from Haiti, my brother-in-law is on the mend & 4+ cars did not collide in a split second on Friday night changing dozens of lives forever.)

Please pray for all the devastated lives in Haiti... I will be; while gratefully counting the blessings... it is all in perspective...