Gratitude for lessons learned and "old" telephone poles!

I am just coming off one of the worst weeks of my life... with a re-flair of an illness (I thought was kicked), some professional set-backs, a few financial challenges ... and then our 17 year old son hits a telephone pole and nothing else seemed relevant ...  Then just as suddenly...everything was relevant and in crisis mode... He is a good kid, a new driver, coming back after taking his girlfriend home, it was a late Saturday afternoon (after his varsity baseball game), he was tired and closed his eyes for a second... His last thought before hitting the pole was "Dad is going to kill me"  The worst feeling in the world is driving to the scene of an accident involving your child, the 5 miles seem like hundreds... and then you see the flashing lights and loose all rational control  until you hold your "safe" child in your arms .  My husband and I were second guessing every decision, questioning our judgment, his abilities.  He is fine... not a scratch on him, the car and the pole (thankfully it was old and broke in half) however are both totaled.  The real kicker was that my "fibro-fog" lead me to forget some critical things (insurance stuff) prior to the accident that made the situation much more complicated & potentially financially devastating.  After hours of hysterical crying... I mustered up enough braincells to correct the situation. My trust in myself was gone, I was physically, emotionally & spiritually bankrupt.   Forgetting the one thing that really matters; we still had both of our sons (above). And today I get this e-mail ...    *******************************  ELIMINATING THINGS ABOUT MYSELF AND MY LIFE THAT I HAVE DETERMINED ARE UNACCEPTABLE       I am now receptive to the idea that .  .  . God's inner vision of me can be the outer vision I create for myself.

There is nothing you need to do to make yourself more acceptable to God.  You don't have to work harder, nor do you need to change the kind of work that you do.  You don't have to give more money to more charitable organizations.  The reality is, God doesn't want you to give anyone anything if you only do it to impress God!  God does not love you or find you acceptable because of anything that you do.  God loves you and accepts you because you are a part of God. You can now give up any neurotic beliefs and activities associated with perfection.  That's right!  You can stop trying to be perfect!  You can stop trying to do everything perfectly.  You can save the time, energy and money you are spending trying to make the world or other people perfect.  You can stop trying to figure out how to make yourself greater, grander, more acceptable to God today because you consider yourself to be damaged by the mistakes you made yesterday.  Nothing you can do will make you look better, sound better, smell better or in any way be better, more acceptable than the person God made you to be. God has an inner vision.  God is looking at you from the inside out.  When you are accepting of yourself as a divine creation of God, undeniably connected to God, filled with the love of God, you become acceptable to yourself.  That is really all that God is concerned with. Until today, you may have believed that there was something you needed to do to make yourself more acceptable to God.  Just for today, examine and explore the aspects of yourself you believe are unacceptable.  Identify the behaviors and actions you are engaged in and make a list of those things you choose to eliminate.  Just remember that God is happy when you are happy.  So do it for yourself. Today I am devoted to eliminating those things about myself and my life that I have determined are unacceptable!"      From Until Today!    by Iyanla Vanzant http://ow.ly/4Y6VN My lessons learned: be grateful first and last as parents you can do your best; stuff still happens be gentle with yourself share your limitations, ask for help God knows what he is doing ...  we are truly blessed

Be Brave, My Friends (Guest)

Dear Fellow "ChronicBabes",

Today I want to share with you a short, simple message: Be brave in the face of chronic illness. It’s easy to be overwhelmed by fear or sadness. It’s easy to get confused, or to feel swamped with questions about the unknown—or to be angry about having to live with something you didn’t plan for, or don’t want to face. These feelings can weigh you down, and can fester and turn into fear.

Fear can hold you back. Fear can stop you in your tracks. Fear can keep you from being the truly awesome Babe you are meant to be.

I know this because I’ve let fear stop me before. I can tell you this because I’ve been there myself—I’ve experienced times in my life when fear overwhelmed me and stopped me cold.

But every day, I recommit myself to stand up against my fears and to live an incredible life in spite of chronic illness. And today is really one of those days—a day when I am truly standing tall and meeting my fear face-to-face, looking it square in the eye, saying hello to it, and then walking right on by. Fear is not going to stop me from being an awesome ChronicBabe, no matter how sick I am. I am going to rock this life!

Maybe this fear-fighting idea is old news to you; in that case, let this simply be a gentle reminder from a good friend. On the other hand, maybe this is a fresh idea for you; in that case, I hope you’ll consider printing this email and carrying it in your pocket for a few days, re-reading it each time you feel fear tug at your sleeve. (This is a favorite trick of mine.)

Feel fear? Face it down. Don’t let it stop you. I believe in you! And if you want to talk about your favorite fear-busting techniques, come on over to the Forum and we can have a chat about it.  I’ve already started a list there of some of my favorite fear-fighting techniques and I think our Forum members will be posting lots more.

Thanks for sharing this moment with me, friends. Be AWAP… (As. Well. As. Possible.)

XO,


Editrix Jenni

chronicbabe.com 

» Do a friend a favor—forward this newsletter!

One step at a time

"'The greatest things ever done on Earth
have been done little by little.'
- William Jennings Bryan"

The Courage to Begin … Featuring my NEW friend :Sally G.

There is so much to say on this subject I don't even know where to start (no pun intended) ... this may also be filed under TMI (too much information). 

This is purely a selfish post... like Valerie Bertinelli in her weight loss goal (with Jenny Craig in case you missed the reference).  Sometimes you need to validate publicly to make it real, put it behind you, for acceptance and getting unstuck! (I say "public" very loosely... I have like 4 or 5 followers; who are greatly appreciated by the way).


I am not wired for selfish... ( and secretly inside I am hoping this reaches someone else also struggling with the same issues ... as I discovered Sally G.) back to being selfish...

In Sally's words that rang so true for me (no singing or music- none of us wants to hear me sing):

The Courage to Begin … Sally G.:
"Where Do I Begin? (originally written by Francis Lai, rewritten here by Sally G.)
Where do I begin?
To serve my Purpose as I know only I can,
A Purpose programmed by a vaster master plan,
To share my gifts so dying embers may be fanned,
Where do I start?
Like a growing child,
I want to Trust that magic happens just for me,
That all I need always arrives abundantly,
And all things tech I grasp and learn so easily,
Can’t this be so?
Can’t this be so in my reality,
Can wisdom flow, can I feel sure of me,
Can I let go, and feel secure
That all I have to give, will help another
Always tuned in, I’ll see the other,
Knowing my Intent, is that enough?
Why does self-doubt rise?
Why is it always that I’m standing in my way?
Slow to accept that no one else sees me this way?
Worried I’ll fail and harm someone along the way
These thoughts aren’t real.
I walk a path, created just for me,
I will become, all that I choose to be,
I need to Trust, my inner Truth
That yearns and calls to reach, beyond this bound’ry
I’ve put in place, though it’s not serving
Anyone at all, why is it there?
How long will it take?
To find the confidence to get out of my way,
To oust the demons that keep holding me at bay,
And render audible the voice that needs to say,
Right now, today …"

That is it for today... more on my revelations tomorrow... or the next day...

FIBRO... There is no treatment, cure or even an accurate diagnosis ... :(

Fibromyalgia has changed my life... Although it is not all bad; given a choice it is not something I would have chosen for myself or have wish on anyone else.  It has however; given me a good reason to take care of myself, a gratitude for what I do have and an appreciation for what I still can do. (this acceptance has been a long process). 

As National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day (May 12th) approaches... I wanted to clue you in on a few key points:

There still are NO diagnostic tests available... (how frustrating?)
"Currently there are no laboratory tests available for diagnosing Fibromyalgia. Doctors must rely on patient histories, self-reported symptoms, a physical examination and an accurate manual tender point examination."

Diagnosis is delayed and expensive... 

"It is estimated that it takes an average of five years for an FM patient to get an accurate diagnosis. Many doctors are still not adequately informed or educated about FM. Laboratory tests often prove negative and many FM symptoms overlap with those of other conditions, thus leading to extensive investigative costs and frustration for both the doctor and patient. "

Other issues may complicate diagnosis...

"Another essential point that must be considered is that the presence of other diseases, such as rheumatoid arthritis or lupus, does not rule out an FM diagnosis. Fibromyalgia is not a diagnosis of exclusion and must be diagnosed by its own characteristic features."

Currently we are limited to only two criteria...

"To receive a diagnosis of FM, the patient must meet the following diagnostic criteria:

1- Widespread pain in all four quadrants of the body for a minimum duration of three months.

2- Tenderness or pain in at least 11 of the 18 specified tender points when pressure is applied

My particular petpeve; the medical community is so quick to prescribe drugs and recommend invasive treatments ... even without a diagnosis...

We still have so much work to do. Fibromyalgia is a debilitating, life changing illness effecting millions of people; and many that may not even know it's name.  For those suffering ... "a name" can make all the difference.

Your thoughts...experiences???

Please mark your calendar: May 12th

Lessons Learned from Oscar, Razzie & Sandra Bullock!

I'm back... boy have I missed this blog; had to take a brief break...
During my absence there were many ideas that I wanted to share that came and went (ya know; if you don't write stuff down... it's gone). Some of them were quite wise... if I do say so myself. You'll have to take my word for it. lol :)

Anyway... on to Oscars and Razzies! I am not sure if you caught the 2010 Oscars; I doubt anyone caught the Razzies (were they even televised?).

Sandra Bullock (one of my favs) became the first actor EVER to win both an Oscar (best) and a Razzie (worst) in the same year. She was honored in her profession for both performing her best and her worst within a 48 hour span...

I thought I would share the lessons I learned from my pal "Sandy":

*It can be graceful & classy to laugh at yourself! (btw- google the clip of her accepting the razzie award- it is worth it)

*Don't be afraid to take risks!... people always remember the BEST and the WORST... no one remembers those that play it safe in the middle.

*Look to Challenge yourself!... it is ok to be scared. There is more passion and energy in a personal challenge; then there will ever be if you go into something thinking "this is gonna be easy".

and finally, it doesn't much matter in the long run if you land on the top or on the bottom; as long as you continue to follow your heart.

"Whatcha" think??? ...

Success Strategies on Risk Taking: Women Ties (Guest)

If you need alittle inspiration to help you take some risks today or in the near future, take a few minutes to read today’s three success strategies. They might be exactly what you need to finally make the decision you’ve been wanting to make for awhile.

How Long Has it Been?
Sometimes the action that finally gets us to take risks and get off the mountain is stopping to realize how long we’ve been stuck at the top. Have you been thinking about a business decision for a week, a month, a year? The longer you’re frozen in indecision, the harder it gets to take action. If you’ve been contemplating a big change for more than three months, you may need extra support to take the plunge. Seek counsel from a business advisor, financial consultant, therapist, business coach or trusted colleague with whom you can discuss your apprehension and plans so you can either move forward or put the decision to rest.

How Well Are Others Things Going In Your Life?
Entrepreneurship takes a lot of mental energy, willpower and determination. As much as we want to separate our personal lives from our business lives, we can’t. They are intertwined. Personal situations, illnesses, loss, and change can take a toll on our mental outlook. Sometimes taking risks confidently means our personal lives are stable enough for us to be unsettled with new business developments. If you are going through a difficult or transient time in your personal life, taking a large business plunge right now might not be the time. Consider all factors – personal and business – before making any big decisions.

Do You Have Support Systems in Place?
If you feel you have been at the precipice of a decision for awhile and you feel your personal and business lives are stable enough then make sure you have support with your upcoming plans with a strong support system in place. Support systems could mean gaining extra financing, adding extra staff, renting more office space, moving to a better location, and seeking extra legal or accounting counsel. Get everything lined up so you are ready. As we glide down the mountain towards the finish line, we need to have all the resources and tools we need to sustain us.

By Tracy Higginbotham, Women TIES
http://womenties.wordpress.com/2010/02/12/success-strategies-on-risk-taking
2010 February 12- tags: business inspiration, business success strategies, inspiration for women entrepreneurs, risk taking by womenties.

It’s Never Too Late to Say Yes... (Guest)

One of the greatest experiences of my life began with an application for a job that I didn’t get. I had applied for a position as a part-time instructor of English, but the job had already been filled by the time the university had received my resume. Lucky for me, a different position became available.

“Are you up for an adventure?” began the phone call I received one winter morning. My heart lodged in my throat as I listened to the details of what that adventure would entail: teaching a grammar and writing class to a group of students who spoke very little English. Not only did I have absolutely no experience in teaching non-native English speakers, but the real kicker was that the class was scheduled to begin in just two days.

I picked up the books for the course and sat there thumbing through the pages, wondering what on earth I had gotten myself into. Somehow I scraped together that first lesson and worked up the gumption to stand in front of my new class.

We sometimes made wild hand gestures and drew pictures to understand one another that first day and in the days to come. Those weeks in the classroom stretched me until I thought I could stretch no more. But something amazing happened along the way; I had no idea that being so uncomfortable could make me so happy. Happiness, it seems, sometimes shows up in the most unlikely ways.

According to psychologists, happiness has little to do with where you live, how much money you make, or even how healthy you are; they attribute just 10 percent of your happiness to such factors. Instead, happiness largely depends on the choices you make. Saying yes to that class is still paying dividends. It gave me glimpses into lands that I may never see in person, helped me forge lasting friendships and opened doors to new career opportunities.

Baseball player and manager Yogi Berra once famously quipped, “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.” You’ll no doubt come to many forks in the road during your lifetime. Though you can’t precisely say what will make you happy in the future, you can use your goals as guideposts along the way. Being flexible and willing to take risks can help too.

You might worry that you’ll make the wrong choice when you come to these forks, particularly those where your money is on the line or when you feel like you don’t know enough to make a wise decision. Overcoming your fear of failure is paramount to finding happiness and getting what you want. Take the initiative to learn what you need to know, whether it pertains to buying a house, opening a college savings account, managing your investments or just simply learning to balance a checkbook.

It’s never too late to say yes to an adventure or to learn a new skill. I’m putting my money where my mouth is next month as I take a community education art class. The idea of trying to learn something new among strangers is frightening for me, much like the feeling I had when I embarked on my first English as a Second Language class. Still, even if I don’t create a masterpiece, I know I’ll be glad I said yes to the adventure. Written by: Carey Denman, American Center for Credit Education—ACCE