Gratitude for lessons learned and "old" telephone poles!

I am just coming off one of the worst weeks of my life... with a re-flair of an illness (I thought was kicked), some professional set-backs, a few financial challenges ... and then our 17 year old son hits a telephone pole and nothing else seemed relevant ...  Then just as suddenly...everything was relevant and in crisis mode... He is a good kid, a new driver, coming back after taking his girlfriend home, it was a late Saturday afternoon (after his varsity baseball game), he was tired and closed his eyes for a second... His last thought before hitting the pole was "Dad is going to kill me"  The worst feeling in the world is driving to the scene of an accident involving your child, the 5 miles seem like hundreds... and then you see the flashing lights and loose all rational control  until you hold your "safe" child in your arms .  My husband and I were second guessing every decision, questioning our judgment, his abilities.  He is fine... not a scratch on him, the car and the pole (thankfully it was old and broke in half) however are both totaled.  The real kicker was that my "fibro-fog" lead me to forget some critical things (insurance stuff) prior to the accident that made the situation much more complicated & potentially financially devastating.  After hours of hysterical crying... I mustered up enough braincells to correct the situation. My trust in myself was gone, I was physically, emotionally & spiritually bankrupt.   Forgetting the one thing that really matters; we still had both of our sons (above). And today I get this e-mail ...    *******************************  ELIMINATING THINGS ABOUT MYSELF AND MY LIFE THAT I HAVE DETERMINED ARE UNACCEPTABLE       I am now receptive to the idea that .  .  . God's inner vision of me can be the outer vision I create for myself.

There is nothing you need to do to make yourself more acceptable to God.  You don't have to work harder, nor do you need to change the kind of work that you do.  You don't have to give more money to more charitable organizations.  The reality is, God doesn't want you to give anyone anything if you only do it to impress God!  God does not love you or find you acceptable because of anything that you do.  God loves you and accepts you because you are a part of God. You can now give up any neurotic beliefs and activities associated with perfection.  That's right!  You can stop trying to be perfect!  You can stop trying to do everything perfectly.  You can save the time, energy and money you are spending trying to make the world or other people perfect.  You can stop trying to figure out how to make yourself greater, grander, more acceptable to God today because you consider yourself to be damaged by the mistakes you made yesterday.  Nothing you can do will make you look better, sound better, smell better or in any way be better, more acceptable than the person God made you to be. God has an inner vision.  God is looking at you from the inside out.  When you are accepting of yourself as a divine creation of God, undeniably connected to God, filled with the love of God, you become acceptable to yourself.  That is really all that God is concerned with. Until today, you may have believed that there was something you needed to do to make yourself more acceptable to God.  Just for today, examine and explore the aspects of yourself you believe are unacceptable.  Identify the behaviors and actions you are engaged in and make a list of those things you choose to eliminate.  Just remember that God is happy when you are happy.  So do it for yourself. Today I am devoted to eliminating those things about myself and my life that I have determined are unacceptable!"      From Until Today!    by Iyanla Vanzant http://ow.ly/4Y6VN My lessons learned: be grateful first and last as parents you can do your best; stuff still happens be gentle with yourself share your limitations, ask for help God knows what he is doing ...  we are truly blessed

Creating the life of your dreams (Guest)

Almost all of our problems and limitations stem from unhelpful mental programming. Before you can create the life of your dreams, you must first take back control of your mind.  ~ Jay Cataldo

Jay Cataldo

Jay is a life coach, relationship expert, author of Get Your Girl Back and a childhood cancer survivor.

If today were my last day on Earth and I could share 500 words of brilliance with the world, here are the important things I'd want to pass along to others...

1. Write down your goals and look at them every day.  

Follow these 4 steps:  

Write down goals, Look at goals, Take action, Repeat

2. Have a support system in place for when you feel down or depressed.

You'll always have "those days" so a good coping strategy is mandatory. And no matter how miserable you may feel, remember to repeat the mantra "this will pass" over and over again in your mind.

3. Your unconscious mind is running the show so learn how to communicate with it.

Instead of struggling to use your willpower to overcome your challenges, reprogram yourself with the proper tools (coaching, hypnosis, EFT, etc.) and watch your life get a thousand times easier (and much more fun).

4. Make a list of your accomplishments and look them over at least once a week.

Our brains tend to focus on negativity so it's easy to forget how awesome we are. Be grateful for everything you've done, everything you have and everything you're about to accomplish.

5. Learn people skills above all else.

Quality relationships will take you far. A good place to start is with the book "How To Win Friends And Influence People" by Dale Carnegie

6. Proper nutrition is vital.

Food can affect our moods as much as our body composition. Learn to love healthy eating.

7. Question everything you hear!

Doctors, professors, clergy, etc. are not infallible. They are human just like the rest of us. Always do your own research.

8. Learn to be amazing with the opposite sex.

Satisfying romantic relationships can add a dimension to your life that nothing else can touch. Luckily, it's a skill set that can be learned.

9. Your beliefs create your universe.

Examine your existing beliefs on a daily basis and work hard to eradicate the ones which hinder your growth.

10. Never stop learning.

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn used to say "Poor people have big TV's. Rich people have big libraries." Read, read, and read some more.

11. Hire a coach!

Almost every successful person the world over has worked with a mentor or coach. It's a prerequisite for success.

12. Lighten up!

There's a time and a place to be serious but now is not the time. ;-)

13. Never sell yourself short. Ever.

The second you label yourself as "not an X kind of person" or tell yourself "I could never do that" you instantly become correct. And of course, you'll never change or be anything otherwise! Instead, cultivate a mindset of unlimited possibility. Whatever you don't understand right now, you will eventually figure out.

14. Learn to love the grunt work.

It's inevitable, so you might as well enjoy it. Praise and reward yourself when you complete your daily tasks.

15. Keep on moving forward.

The world can be a scary place and you will get beat down occasionally. Just remember that no matter what happens, you can bounce back from it. This realization will help keep you open, loving and pushing forward despite the obstacles in your path.

16. Stay in control of yourself at all times.

Learn to master your thoughts, actions and emotions and make them work FOR you, not against you.

17. When in doubt, ask for help.

The universe is always listening.

So Awesome! Will Smith... Motivator!

Will Smith – Motivator – The Affirmation Spot for Friday July 9, 2010 « The Affirmation Spot

Do you "Blog" or are you a "Blogger"?

There is a very important difference... I just happen to blog, among many other things I do, I am NOT a "Blogger" ... In my opinion ... 

You might be a "Blogger" if...

- You are Consistent; you make regular and timely posts (Me- I blog when the mood strikes, I have 6 posts still in draft form and 12 more ideas in my head that may or may not ever be posted... balance and consistency have eluded me all my life. And there is also that perfectionism thingy)

- You are Original; you formulate your own new and creative ideas & thoughts; sharing them for the benefit and thought stimulation of others (Me- I do enjoy writing my own stuff but I also collect other people's stuff to share {always crediting the source}... 'cause frankly sometimes others say what I want to say... only better!)

- You are Focused; you have one or two passions you specialize in.  (Me- I am all over the map... as in my life... everything flows and melds together.)

Not everyone can ... or should be a "Blogger" ... but everyone that chooses to can "Blog"...

Nope, I am not a "Blogger" ... but that is OK! :)

The Benefits I Didn't Expect (Guest) by Lisa

Sometime you read something that sounds so much like you, that you wish you had wrote it yourself ... and you wonder how could another person truly understand what is going on deep inside of you... Here are Lisa's words... Thank you Lisa... because you said it for all of us:

"It’s easy to get mired in our suffering, to feel we’re overwhelmed by forces in our bodies that bring us to our knees. I’ve been there for years, and things came to such a head that I simply couldn’t see any opening in that profound negativity no matter how hard I tried. Because Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue can bleed your soul. But as I begin to recover a sense of wellness, as my hope is rewarded month by month, I begin to reach for the positive in what has happened and is happening to me. “Find the good in this,” I urge myself.

Is there good in suffering? Not directly. It’s a bad physical and mental place no matter how you slice it. But when we dedicate ourselves to our own rescue, I think we can indeed start to identify profoundly positive things.

For me, for many of the patients I speak with, walking this particular bed of coals can become a transforming experience. We can heal our bodies and along the way gain a new perspective on our lives.

What things have I identified as positives in having FM and CFS?

I’ve learned not to take anything for granted. Not my health, not my creativity, not my memory, not the support of those who love me. And I’ve learned I am absolutely not willing to let go of those things. To be able to value the essentials you never used to question? I think that’s a gateway to awareness.

Small things aren’t small anymore. I’m paying attention as I’ve never paid attention before. To the strong colours that bloom in the evening sun. To the fingers my body wags at me. To the amazing feeling of a morning that isn’t filled with crippling anxiety. In ways, it’s like not living blind. To be able to truly see? Isn’t that the foundation of defining meaning and truly participating in your life?

I used to live a crazy life. I did too much, let too much get to me, and when I was overwhelmed, I imagined stripping everything from my life, just throwing it all away, so all that was left was an empty white room I could refill with only those things that mattered. But it’s hard to remove the excess consciously. FM and CFS do that for you. As you grow to feel worse, you give up more and more, and then even more, just so you can keep up with the bare essentials. As you grow to feel better, you gradually add back those things that matter most. Knowing what matters most? Isn’t that one of the joys of life?

When I discovered I had FM and CFS, I became aware of just how hard I’d been trying to deny what was happening and to keep hold of my life. With a diagnosis in hand, I thought I was pretty stupid to have lived in denial that long, but we all need to honor the kind of strength that keeps us going. Now that I’m in treatment and tasting wellness, I’m aware of how I have committed to every supplement I swallow, to accepting and working through the plateaus that can disappoint, to pushing like a marathon runner to the finish line. We all need to honor that kind of courage. To know you have the strength and courage not to give up? Priceless.

The quality of empathy is more like a theory - and a little harder to extend to others - unless you’ve been through the wringer yourself. My heart is opening in ways I hadn’t expected; every day I’m increasingly aware how something is shaping my compassion. Knowing you can live caring and open? Our world is constructed of relationships, and the more of ourselves we can bring to them, the more we are fulfilled.

One woman I spoke with told me, “Just when the caterpillar thought her life was over, she became a butterfly. And to me, that is exactly what has happened in my life over the last five months. It’s changed my life for the better. Something so devastating took everything away from me. I had never imagined how that could parlay into something that refined me by fire. And it really did. It made me a better person.”

Treatment is about healing my body. It has also become about healing the soul FM and CFS bled from me. Along the way, I’ve found I’m not just reclaiming my life, I’m growing into a whole new life. Because recovering from anything takes effort, these are the things we need to hold close.

In all things - even this - there is good."

I’m NOT alright – A women’s perspective of FM by Graceful Agony

Graceful Agony

But you don't look sick?

Attract what you need!

"You are a living magnet. What you
attract into your life is in harmony
with your dominant thoughts."
- Brian Tracy

From Haiti to hospital beds... to perspective...

I was thinking that it was a rough week for ME... returning to work and the daily routine after a long vacation. I was even feeling a bit sorry for myself; my fibromyalgia was particularly bad, acting up due to my changes in diet, routine and sleeping schedule.

While in a particular self-focused moment; crying and venting with my hubby... about how unfair life is and how it sucks! His response was a calm "it could be much worse..." yeah his way of trying to make me feel better. lol ... Got to love that man!!!

Well... as the week progressed...

Haiti was hit by a devastating earthquake; I learned that old friends of ours were there on a missionary visit... their family didn't know if they were dead or alive...

my brother in-law was rushed to the hospital .. he almost died.

I was driving home and had to swerve to avoid a very serious collision ... if one element was different (if I didn't see the car in the road in-time, if the guy behind me didn't stop and swerve also, if there had been anyone coming in the other direction..etc.)

So yeah... my life could be worse... I am surrounded by a warm loving family, I have the best friends anyone could ask for ... my fibro is manageable most days, with healthy lifestyle choices... I am blessed.

(BTW: My friends are home safe from Haiti, my brother-in-law is on the mend & 4+ cars did not collide in a split second on Friday night changing dozens of lives forever.)

Please pray for all the devastated lives in Haiti... I will be; while gratefully counting the blessings... it is all in perspective...