Showing posts with label perfectionism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label perfectionism. Show all posts

Gratitude for lessons learned and "old" telephone poles!

 I am just coming off one of the worst weeks of my life... with a re-flair of an illness (I thought was kicked), some professional set-backs, a few financial challenges ... and then our 17 year old son hits a telephone pole and nothing else seemed relevant ... 
Then just as suddenly...everything was relevant and in crisis mode... He is a good kid, a new driver, coming back after taking his girlfriend home, it was a late Saturday afternoon (after his varsity baseball game), he was tired and closed his eyes for a second... His last thought before hitting the pole was "Dad is going to kill me" 

The worst feeling in the world is driving to the scene of an accident involving your child, the 5 miles seem like hundreds... and then you see the flashing lights and loose all rational control  until you hold your "safe" child in your arms . 

My husband and I were second guessing every decision, questioning our judgment, his abilities.  He is fine... not a scratch on him, the car and the pole (thankfully it was old and broke in half) however are both totaled. 

The real kicker was that my "fibro-fog" lead me to forget some critical things (insurance stuff) prior to the accident that made the situation much more complicated & potentially financially devastating.  After hours of hysterical crying... I mustered up enough braincells to correct the situation. My trust in myself was gone, I was physically, emotionally & spiritually bankrupt.  

Forgetting the one thing that really matters; we still had both of our sons (above). And today I get this e-mail ...   

******************************* 
ELIMINATING THINGS ABOUT MYSELF AND MY LIFE THAT I HAVE DETERMINED ARE UNACCEPTABLE 
    
I am now receptive to the idea that .  .  .
God's inner vision of me can be the outer vision I create for myself.
There is nothing you need to do to make yourself more acceptable to God.  You don't have to work harder, nor do you need to change the kind of work that you do.  You don't have to give more money to more charitable organizations.  The reality is, God doesn't want you to give anyone anything if you only do it to impress God!  God does not love you or find you acceptable because of anything that you do.  God loves you and accepts you because you are a part of God.

You can now give up any neurotic beliefs and activities associated with perfection.  That's right!  You can stop trying to be perfect!  You can stop trying to do everything perfectly.  You can save the time, energy and money you are spending trying to make the world or other people perfect.  You can stop trying to figure out how to make yourself greater, grander, more acceptable to God today because you consider yourself to be damaged by the mistakes you made yesterday.  Nothing you can do will make you look better, sound better, smell better or in any way be better, more acceptable than the person God made you to be.

God has an inner vision.  God is looking at you from the inside out.  When you are accepting of yourself as a divine creation of God, undeniably connected to God, filled with the love of God, you become acceptable to yourself.  That is really all that God is concerned with.

Until today, you may have believed that there was something you needed to do to make yourself more acceptable to God.  Just for today, examine and explore the aspects of yourself you believe are unacceptable.  Identify the behaviors and actions you are engaged in and make a list of those things you choose to eliminate.  Just remember that God is happy when you are happy.  So do it for yourself.

Today I am devoted to eliminating those things about myself and my life that I have determined are unacceptable!"
    
From Until Today!   
by Iyanla Vanzant http://ow.ly/4Y6VN

My lessons learned:
  • be grateful first and last
  • as parents you can do your best; stuff still happens
  • be gentle with yourself
  • share your limitations, ask for help
  • God knows what he is doing ...  we are truly blessed

 

Do you "Blog" or are you a "Blogger"?

There is a very important difference... I just happen to blog, among many other things I do, I am NOT a "Blogger" ... In my opinion ... 

You might be a "Blogger" if...

- You are Consistent; you make regular and timely posts (Me- I blog when the mood strikes, I have 6 posts still in draft form and 12 more ideas in my head that may or may not ever be posted... balance and consistency have eluded me all my life. And there is also that perfectionism thingy)

- You are Original; you formulate your own new and creative ideas & thoughts; sharing them for the benefit and thought stimulation of others (Me- I do enjoy writing my own stuff but I also collect other people's stuff to share {always crediting the source}... 'cause frankly sometimes others say what I want to say... only better!)

- You are Focused; you have one or two passions you specialize in.  (Me- I am all over the map... as in my life... everything flows and melds together.)

Not everyone can ... or should be a "Blogger" ... but everyone that chooses to can "Blog"...

Nope, I am not a "Blogger" ... but that is OK! :)




Waiting to Blog until you have the perfect blog?

"... Started blogging and stuck to continue?... Guilty! As a recovering perfectionist; why would this be an exception. Do you love to write, read, talk, learn and share as I do... and just can't make that next step... these wonderful insightful blogs are bouncing around in your head and yet they are not jumping on the page... news flash!... they don't have to be perfect. So blog away... write, share and I will do the same!"